Okay sure he's a fool the only thing that got knifed were Daryl's tires but the threat was real and the threat spoke to some kind of anger some kind of emergent hostility at me how dare I suggest that women should be allowed to eat at the soup kitchen how dare I suggest that women should not be harassed for their obesity or diabetes or ask to suck the balls of the homeless soup kitchen director how dare I report this abuse of disabled people and women The Bullying of homosexuals the assaults on black men how dare I report that as a civil rights violation how dare I care about assaults on the disabled I should be knifed says the cocaine dealer about the meth dealers hatred of me the meth dealer hates me because I have reported him for sexually harassing homeless women when he's on the take he's giving himself raises he's making big cash and the last Predator who dipped his toe in the water of homeless Armageddon Made off with a lot of babes and millions so a verbal harassment is really nothing compared to a Helping Hands Style solicitation of sex from homeless women in a row serially years after years and then Jordan Schnitzer gets involved and nobody even notices all the women winding up pregnant with the kid of the Criminal Felon with the handgun it's sounding familiar why are felons with handguns in charge of homeless women's life nobody does a background check nobody wants the job it's as if they want a compromised individual only or the homeless are a throwaway class.
Thursday, October 12, 2023
Premonitions
Here we are 10 years later the endless toil of the feminization of poverty mounts deep in the thickets of unpaid caregiving work a soup kitchen arises out of the truck delivery and the bicycle delivery the soup kitchen megalomaniac comes after me his criminal record is hidden from authorities he is given a Project Paperclip new identity with which to abuse new victims his victim aggression of the Pomeranian care dog theft has been marginalized as he is put on a pedestal with the protection of Judges anyone who questions his sexual harassment of homeless women could be set up on false charges to humiliate and demean them you say this is implausible this is clatsop County where cartel drug Runners embed in the nonprofit to protect and excuse and hide bad behavior from authorities drugs are nothing you say measure 110 made everything legal sort of some backlash emerges as the meth apocalypse unfolds can I pull myself out of it every activist for homeless purposes I know faces some kind of retaliation some kind of harsh penalty why can I not take it is it Like a Knife the stabs the stuffing in the trunk of dear Mary good Mary murdered in Nashville haunting my childhood sitting the stages for an emergent PTSD as I too became carjacking victim kidnapping victim strangulation victim rape victim and I am supposed to idly sit by while drug dealers put their hand around my throat with the protection of County judges plural and a judicial commission worth not much but can I have faith can I have faith someone has been sent here from the east coast to figure it out someone with training someone who has insight someone who I do not have to reinvent the wheel with the shopping cart princess takes a 10-day stay at the brand new millions of dollars jail and electronic courts smooth the process of transporting and when hopes not for a rough ride in Clatsop the catering is fine the meth dealer has the federal cash pouring into his facility Miss Rachel says oh well he's not required to oh just because it's tax money and the non-profit Circle their wagons protecting their salaries their SUVs their house notes and it said they sold the swag on eBay and Amazon for a little cash on the side but nobody cares especially not me
Friday, June 24, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Neck Snap
i began this blog in fear my philanthropy would kill me.
June 2, 2016 i was assaulted, crushed until neck almost snapped.
screamed, broke free.
then put in headlock, chokelock.
told i would pay.
person of interest is in custody.
Mary Catherine Strobel was knifed to death on a trip to soup kitchen delivering a sack of potatoes to Nashville's Room at the Inn.
Her body found in her trunk outside IHOP.
they cleaned her up enuf for an open casket.
maybe i was eight when it happened.
i am 38 now, doctors assure me neck not broken.
June 2, 2016 i was assaulted, crushed until neck almost snapped.
screamed, broke free.
then put in headlock, chokelock.
told i would pay.
person of interest is in custody.
Mary Catherine Strobel was knifed to death on a trip to soup kitchen delivering a sack of potatoes to Nashville's Room at the Inn.
Her body found in her trunk outside IHOP.
they cleaned her up enuf for an open casket.
maybe i was eight when it happened.
i am 38 now, doctors assure me neck not broken.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Accolades for Angela Hammit
Mary Catherine Strobel foundation is an organization founded in July 2013. Inspired by the tragedy surrounding the Nashville Tennessee homeless rights activist, Mary Catherine Strobel of the Room at the Inn organization, the Mary Catherine Strobel Foundation seeks to address similar issues of poverty, disability, and violence afflicting the community.
Mary Catherine Strobel's life was senselessly robbed from her after a 50 year career of public service. The risks she took on an everyday basis form the basis of her heroism.
Mary Catherine Strobel foundation urges the courts of Multnomah County and the Honorable Judge Wittmeyer to recognize that Angela Hammit's work for Visually Impaired Americans, Police Brutality victims, and the chronically impoverished homeless constitute a not insignificant contribution to social justice for Multnomah County. Her contributions are so significant, that they merit both accolade and remuneration. While at the present time her work for these shared goals has been pro bono and non-remunerated, Mary Catherine Strobel foundation encourages the courts to recognize Angela Hammit's pro bono involvement with publicity, media, and contact liaison for DOJ's Jonas Geissler, an investigator of Portland Police brutality against the mentally ill or racially targeted individuals---to consitute significant contributions to Portland's moves towards full respect of the ADA and Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Mary Catherine Strobel foundation also urges the courts of Multnomah County to recognize that Angela Hammit's contributions to this effort are ongoing despite severe PTSD which arose from the leg-breaking attack by Homeland Security officer X, who assaulted Angela Hammit in the presence of many witnesses including Benjamen Pickering. Angela Hammit was the victim of street harassment, and then came under a compounded attack of the malpracticing Homeland Security officer who inflicted serious grave bodily harm and emotional distress to Angela Hammit.
As the Multnomah DA found fit to prosecute the female victim of the assault rather than the male assailant, it is our understanding that victim Angela Hammit was assigned a community service goal of 60 hours.
The Mary Catherine Strobel organization humbly asks the court to accept our recommendation of accolade for Angela Hammit's dedication to one-on-one mentoring with a Visually Impaired Traumatic Brain Injury Victim, who has benefitted immensely from her one-on-one involvement in advocacy and caregiving far exceeding 60 hours.
as the Mary Catherine Strobel Foundation seeks to grow and finalize 501c3 designation, we urge the court to thank Angela Hammit for her compassion, her service, her dignity, and courageous advocacy for persons experiencing disabilities, poverty, police brutality, and trauma relating to sexual assault and the abuse of vulnerable adults in Multnomah County.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Thor's Army
Mother decided i was insane one day when i was cooking vegan Food Not Bombs.
The house was like a Junk Store littered with every massive box of scraps left by Helen and Ransom Eng and hauled to Nashville in Massive Trucks.
I was not insane, but merely cooking Food Not Bombs. She on the other hand was screaming at me, and had threatened to slit her own throat a few years earlier, on the front porch of 328.
I had asked to see my dying grandfolk. she had returned from DC having denied me a chance at their deathbed, in addition to the life i wished for with them since age seven.
Such things i recognize now as child abuse.
Was my father Aspergersy?
Was it child abuse to have him as the primary House Dad?
He never did me wrong, never.
I was his office slave, truly, my primary and total career.
But mother decided i was insane when i was 21.
One would think forced incarcerations were a thing left for Siberia and Stalin, but as it turns out, it was all the rage in the 1990's for affluent upper middle class to incarcerate and medicate their family members half-to-death for crimes of atheism, vegetarianism, lesbianism, and general High IQ or humanitarianism and philanthropy.
So just where i went wrong, i can never retrace.
i always imagine it was the punk rock haircut i gave myself.
My brother on the other hand, Michael Eng was a raging alcoholic on LSD.
i was the sober straight edger elder sister who held the family together, got my siblings reading shakespeare as todlers, taught algebra, etc. etc.
I was Mary poppins Perfect, aside from getting slapped across the mouth by Mother when i was sixteen, as she called me a Bitch. Her own father Elmer Kangas used to beat Mary Driscol Kangas.
Essentially, i was Human Trafficked into an MKUltra Prison, by my own Mother. I was Medically tortured for several years off and on on rounds of extreme medications which failed to eradicate my vegetarianism, lesbianism, atheism, or other assorted thoughtcrimes.
What i take from it all now, is that the Mother who gives you life, can always also give you death.
Mothers are the least to be trusted, but the most to be loved.
An abortion, whether at three weeks, or 21 years is still an abortion. Attempting to obliterate a human soul, and extinguish every unique particle of her spirit, identity, and religion, in a haze of nonconsensual drugging and physical and sexual violence, in a hellhole pit called Middle Tennessee Mental Health Institute and other hellholes Parthenon Pavilion, Summit give way to the curiosity:
why was i exploited for child care, housework, and officework from age 5 on?
why did my mother work 50-70 hour weeks my whole childhood leaving me to tend her children?
why did my father allow my mother to extract more children despite his wishes not to have any children?
Why was my father called a "sociopath" and "psychopath" by my mother? Why was my father ridiculed by my mother my entire childhood?
Why was my expensive education poured down the drain under threat of electroshock?
Why does no one know what MKUltra was still active in Tennessee circa 1998-2002?
Why was my head smashed by Max Schuster of Green Hills after meeting in Parthenon Pavilion?
Why did Nashville Police fail to investigate the 2002 Rape and Strangulation i survived?
Why was i raped in 1999 by Mark Reynolds of the Vanderbilt Philosophy department and so afraid of the Police Brutality my Mother Inflicted on me, that i was too scared to report the rape, lest the police blame it on me, and use it as another excuse to test more drugs on me?
Why was haldol used on me to the destruction of my teeth such that 20K dentistry at least have been needed to repair the dental destruction enacted by Haldol Rabbit Syndrome?
Why do i still suffer extreme Jaw Tightness after the Terrifying Medical experimentation with Tardive Dyskenisiac effects so terrorizing i would flee America as a refugee in 2010, and flee Tennessee in 2003 to California where i lived in Los Angeles as a refugee in my own country from a Medical Stalking so severe, i demanded Mother take the CIA 500K grandpa left us, hire a Lawyer and Legally Protect me from the Nashville Behavioral Stalkers which were terrorizing my every day.
Undercover in California, i was the least ill, successfully studied and worked, sued corporate abusers and soaked in artistic ambiance and non-judgemental company.
Finally restored to my true kith and kin, Father's San Diego Naissance meant i was Half-Californian afterall---soul-wise.
If Being Californian outside of California, is a mental illness to all the people the Californians fled from, god may we repatriate.
Bless, them, the Chicagoans: Ruth Balsey Stephens . . .
Atheism aside, there is memory, what is lost forgotten and suddenly remembered.
Mary Catherine might know.
Her dress was facebook blue in the coffin. They put her together so well after she was knifed to death in the throat.
Lots of makeup and a cold serene look she had. Father Charles Strobel stood over her casket, his face red, and streaming tears.
I want to know what he thinks of all the Child Rapists in the Catholic Church.
Mary Kangas told Anne Eng to take the kids and leave Nashville.
Mary Kangas was an activist against the horrors of "Behavioral" research in Portland, where MKUltra style forced-drugging and hospital abuse became the new religion of secularism.
I was doing the work of Christ, poor and threadbare, feeding the homeless, giving Grandma Helen Stephens Eng's CIA silver to the poor outside Lucy's record shop. Anne Eng unwittingly perhaps sold me to Psychiatric Human Experimentation---as a proxy crucifixion for all the hatred she heaped on my father my whole life. He remained untouchable. Male. She incarcerated me, and my father began to die. It utterly destroyed him, to see his daughter crucified and lynched in the MKultra Machine he decried even in the Jimmy Buffet Biography in the mid-nineties. Father was all too wise.
Mother could have come to Oregon.
I could have called Ran in DC and demanded a Child Protective Services investigation.
I just suffered through the first 21 year Eng family life sentence, never expecting to be sold into slavery for some 7 dollar an hour Ghetto Torture Abu Ghraib bullshittery under Mohammed Jahan, torture doc extraordinaire. It was an Honor Killing fit for a CIA wife, to enact upon her unruly daughter, who failed to turn up in the string of pearls, the poodle skirt, or put her plath-head in the oven fast enough to avoid Dante's Inferno.
So Thorazine powers this, as Thorazine always did, give Thorazine blues, to they that know God by way of Chemistry, Thor's hammer so mighty, none may stop it.
So what was top 5, Science Director doing for the poor, as the lobotomies rolled forth?
As Sem Jacobsen practiced his dark arts of brain surgery on the living in Norway?
As Michael Eng contains the stories of Lyndon Johnson, and Anne Eng stories of the childhood of my father, the dinner parties, how can i walk a fine line in this fine family and find a way to more Total Information Awareness?
The house was like a Junk Store littered with every massive box of scraps left by Helen and Ransom Eng and hauled to Nashville in Massive Trucks.
I was not insane, but merely cooking Food Not Bombs. She on the other hand was screaming at me, and had threatened to slit her own throat a few years earlier, on the front porch of 328.
I had asked to see my dying grandfolk. she had returned from DC having denied me a chance at their deathbed, in addition to the life i wished for with them since age seven.
Such things i recognize now as child abuse.
Was my father Aspergersy?
Was it child abuse to have him as the primary House Dad?
He never did me wrong, never.
I was his office slave, truly, my primary and total career.
But mother decided i was insane when i was 21.
One would think forced incarcerations were a thing left for Siberia and Stalin, but as it turns out, it was all the rage in the 1990's for affluent upper middle class to incarcerate and medicate their family members half-to-death for crimes of atheism, vegetarianism, lesbianism, and general High IQ or humanitarianism and philanthropy.
So just where i went wrong, i can never retrace.
i always imagine it was the punk rock haircut i gave myself.
My brother on the other hand, Michael Eng was a raging alcoholic on LSD.
i was the sober straight edger elder sister who held the family together, got my siblings reading shakespeare as todlers, taught algebra, etc. etc.
I was Mary poppins Perfect, aside from getting slapped across the mouth by Mother when i was sixteen, as she called me a Bitch. Her own father Elmer Kangas used to beat Mary Driscol Kangas.
Essentially, i was Human Trafficked into an MKUltra Prison, by my own Mother. I was Medically tortured for several years off and on on rounds of extreme medications which failed to eradicate my vegetarianism, lesbianism, atheism, or other assorted thoughtcrimes.
What i take from it all now, is that the Mother who gives you life, can always also give you death.
Mothers are the least to be trusted, but the most to be loved.
An abortion, whether at three weeks, or 21 years is still an abortion. Attempting to obliterate a human soul, and extinguish every unique particle of her spirit, identity, and religion, in a haze of nonconsensual drugging and physical and sexual violence, in a hellhole pit called Middle Tennessee Mental Health Institute and other hellholes Parthenon Pavilion, Summit give way to the curiosity:
why was i exploited for child care, housework, and officework from age 5 on?
why did my mother work 50-70 hour weeks my whole childhood leaving me to tend her children?
why did my father allow my mother to extract more children despite his wishes not to have any children?
Why was my father called a "sociopath" and "psychopath" by my mother? Why was my father ridiculed by my mother my entire childhood?
Why was my expensive education poured down the drain under threat of electroshock?
Why does no one know what MKUltra was still active in Tennessee circa 1998-2002?
Why was my head smashed by Max Schuster of Green Hills after meeting in Parthenon Pavilion?
Why did Nashville Police fail to investigate the 2002 Rape and Strangulation i survived?
Why was i raped in 1999 by Mark Reynolds of the Vanderbilt Philosophy department and so afraid of the Police Brutality my Mother Inflicted on me, that i was too scared to report the rape, lest the police blame it on me, and use it as another excuse to test more drugs on me?
Why was haldol used on me to the destruction of my teeth such that 20K dentistry at least have been needed to repair the dental destruction enacted by Haldol Rabbit Syndrome?
Why do i still suffer extreme Jaw Tightness after the Terrifying Medical experimentation with Tardive Dyskenisiac effects so terrorizing i would flee America as a refugee in 2010, and flee Tennessee in 2003 to California where i lived in Los Angeles as a refugee in my own country from a Medical Stalking so severe, i demanded Mother take the CIA 500K grandpa left us, hire a Lawyer and Legally Protect me from the Nashville Behavioral Stalkers which were terrorizing my every day.
Undercover in California, i was the least ill, successfully studied and worked, sued corporate abusers and soaked in artistic ambiance and non-judgemental company.
Finally restored to my true kith and kin, Father's San Diego Naissance meant i was Half-Californian afterall---soul-wise.
If Being Californian outside of California, is a mental illness to all the people the Californians fled from, god may we repatriate.
Bless, them, the Chicagoans: Ruth Balsey Stephens . . .
Atheism aside, there is memory, what is lost forgotten and suddenly remembered.
Mary Catherine might know.
Her dress was facebook blue in the coffin. They put her together so well after she was knifed to death in the throat.
Lots of makeup and a cold serene look she had. Father Charles Strobel stood over her casket, his face red, and streaming tears.
I want to know what he thinks of all the Child Rapists in the Catholic Church.
Mary Kangas told Anne Eng to take the kids and leave Nashville.
Mary Kangas was an activist against the horrors of "Behavioral" research in Portland, where MKUltra style forced-drugging and hospital abuse became the new religion of secularism.
I was doing the work of Christ, poor and threadbare, feeding the homeless, giving Grandma Helen Stephens Eng's CIA silver to the poor outside Lucy's record shop. Anne Eng unwittingly perhaps sold me to Psychiatric Human Experimentation---as a proxy crucifixion for all the hatred she heaped on my father my whole life. He remained untouchable. Male. She incarcerated me, and my father began to die. It utterly destroyed him, to see his daughter crucified and lynched in the MKultra Machine he decried even in the Jimmy Buffet Biography in the mid-nineties. Father was all too wise.
Mother could have come to Oregon.
I could have called Ran in DC and demanded a Child Protective Services investigation.
I just suffered through the first 21 year Eng family life sentence, never expecting to be sold into slavery for some 7 dollar an hour Ghetto Torture Abu Ghraib bullshittery under Mohammed Jahan, torture doc extraordinaire. It was an Honor Killing fit for a CIA wife, to enact upon her unruly daughter, who failed to turn up in the string of pearls, the poodle skirt, or put her plath-head in the oven fast enough to avoid Dante's Inferno.
So Thorazine powers this, as Thorazine always did, give Thorazine blues, to they that know God by way of Chemistry, Thor's hammer so mighty, none may stop it.
So what was top 5, Science Director doing for the poor, as the lobotomies rolled forth?
As Sem Jacobsen practiced his dark arts of brain surgery on the living in Norway?
As Michael Eng contains the stories of Lyndon Johnson, and Anne Eng stories of the childhood of my father, the dinner parties, how can i walk a fine line in this fine family and find a way to more Total Information Awareness?
Beating up the homeless and disabled is a Major Error.
foundation may be the dirty word here. I associate it with money laundering, total creepiness.
one of my favorite intellectuals in portland oregon is a person called charles johnson.
for three months i have seen him continue to wear half of a broken pair of eyeglasses.
someone needs to take him for an eye exam and a new pair of lenses and frames.
i have pledged him a new pair of glasses from my 868 social security check coming in next month.
in the meantime, i was going to put all my income into Benjamen Pickering's portland police brutality case.
Beating up the homeless and disabled is a Major Error.
I mean really, all my energy faith hope and love are with Benjamen. But when he is sufficiently healed, i know we can move forward into a way of making a better world for those we love and care for . . .
so investing in Ben's health, is like investing in the future of the foundation of a ministry.
Never mind, our love.
Our Love is so vast, in our love was born the idea, of the Mary Catherine Strobel foundation.
I was tired of living in fear, and i gave way to love, opened my heart.
The lingering fear, gave way to knowledge, wherein horror story after horror story have unfolded.
It reminds me all so terribly, of the witch of east nashville.
Stephen Eng's novel carried him past Y2K as spoken language left him, his still could compose words, aphasically.
Father Strobel was as a brother to my mother, wed to an atheist CIA brat.
Never mind, dad's early gigs with CIA himself. things get in your bloodstream after all.
This will never have anything to do with her, but always to do with transpersonal realities which are every mother, every son, every daughter, every father.
Nashville cracked thunder down on Gillian Welch one day.
There stood Bill Siesser, Chief Bromden with his Priscilla and I, with my Mark Franklin Holladay.
Mark and i then took Intake in LA Pershing Square homeless mecca at Food Not Bombs of a former Chinese National Intellectual and Writer who was kicked in the stomach in China for dissidence. In LA his shoes were robbed in the night. His last 2000 dollars stolen at the greyhound station. He feared his family was being tortured back in China. He was exiled in Canada. Then came to USA. He went to the Los Angeles Times, to the ACLU. No one cared. He needed a pair of eyeglasses.
That was 2005. Katrina came. I was near broke myself, longing to go to paralegal school.
Headed up to Portland to take care of my aging parents.
Did he survive?
Did he ever get a pair of eyeglasses?
John, he called himself. Johnny.
Father was sent to Portland for the War on Poverty.
so, evidentally they lost that one, along with Vietnam.
they shot Olaf Palme.
and killed Mary Catherine.
one of my favorite intellectuals in portland oregon is a person called charles johnson.
for three months i have seen him continue to wear half of a broken pair of eyeglasses.
someone needs to take him for an eye exam and a new pair of lenses and frames.
i have pledged him a new pair of glasses from my 868 social security check coming in next month.
in the meantime, i was going to put all my income into Benjamen Pickering's portland police brutality case.
Beating up the homeless and disabled is a Major Error.
I mean really, all my energy faith hope and love are with Benjamen. But when he is sufficiently healed, i know we can move forward into a way of making a better world for those we love and care for . . .
so investing in Ben's health, is like investing in the future of the foundation of a ministry.
Never mind, our love.
Our Love is so vast, in our love was born the idea, of the Mary Catherine Strobel foundation.
I was tired of living in fear, and i gave way to love, opened my heart.
The lingering fear, gave way to knowledge, wherein horror story after horror story have unfolded.
It reminds me all so terribly, of the witch of east nashville.
Stephen Eng's novel carried him past Y2K as spoken language left him, his still could compose words, aphasically.
Father Strobel was as a brother to my mother, wed to an atheist CIA brat.
Never mind, dad's early gigs with CIA himself. things get in your bloodstream after all.
This will never have anything to do with her, but always to do with transpersonal realities which are every mother, every son, every daughter, every father.
Nashville cracked thunder down on Gillian Welch one day.
There stood Bill Siesser, Chief Bromden with his Priscilla and I, with my Mark Franklin Holladay.
Mark and i then took Intake in LA Pershing Square homeless mecca at Food Not Bombs of a former Chinese National Intellectual and Writer who was kicked in the stomach in China for dissidence. In LA his shoes were robbed in the night. His last 2000 dollars stolen at the greyhound station. He feared his family was being tortured back in China. He was exiled in Canada. Then came to USA. He went to the Los Angeles Times, to the ACLU. No one cared. He needed a pair of eyeglasses.
That was 2005. Katrina came. I was near broke myself, longing to go to paralegal school.
Headed up to Portland to take care of my aging parents.
Did he survive?
Did he ever get a pair of eyeglasses?
John, he called himself. Johnny.
Father was sent to Portland for the War on Poverty.
so, evidentally they lost that one, along with Vietnam.
they shot Olaf Palme.
and killed Mary Catherine.
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